Great Expectations

As soon as the possibility of taking early retirement was raised, I began to dream about the things I would do, the things I would finally have time for, the time I would be able to devote to the things I love. Not incredibly exciting things, but things out of which I get huge enjoyment -my quilting and embroidery, the garden, a bit of fancy baking every now and then. Never having had a break from work in the 34 years since leaving university, I was looking forward to some good old fashion home-making, too, and I imagined beautifully organised cupboard spaces and shining, polished surfaces.

Four days in and I think I probably have to face the fact that I can have and do all these things, but not within the first week.

The basic fact is that I can't slow down. I am making lists and setting myself deadlines as if I were still at work. I stress if I can't get everything done on my To Do list each day. I check my watch too often. 

Yesterday, I had a taste of what life should be without work. I had a long, leisurely lunch with two old friends in the Fountain Restaurant at Fortnum and Masons. It was the first time this week that I slowed down enough to see the bigger picture and realise something. Which was that the real joy of being retired is being able to devote more time to the human connections that give meaning to life. I need to slow down enough so that my lists and weekly objectives don't dominate and get in the way of meeting up with people and maintaining those connections.

So, I'm off to plan some more lunch dates.